If Politicians Were Doctors
Moved this post up because it humors me...
For the purpose of this post, the Canadian electorate east of SK will be referred to as "The Hockey Player." Now, the hockey player dislocates his shoulder and, in great pain, goes to the doctor. Lets look at what would happen if his doctor were some of our prominent politicians:
If Steven Harper was the physician he would tell the hockey player that it was going hurt a lot more for a few seconds as he re-set the shoulder but the pain would stop almost immediately afterwards. "POP"! It's done. Hockey player is given a prescription for Tylenol 3, a sling for his arm and instructions to go easy for a couple of weeks. Hockey player's private health plan covers the cost of the prescription. Shoulder heals and player is allowed to play again at full capacity.
If Paul Martin were the physician he would state that he was glad the hockey player didn't go to the conservative doctor because "he's scary with all of those modern techniques". Dr. Paul would do nothing about the injury itself although he would prescribe large doses of daily morphine. The Morphine Company just happens to be a good friend of Dr. Paul. The Morphine Company gives Dr. Paul lots of nice things. The cost of the morphine is picked up by the hockey player in the form of a "Dr. Paul Tax". When Dr. Harper (see above) is outraged at the treatment offered by Dr. Paul the hockey player in his drugged up state says: "Hey man, don't be so angry, this is great!" (Note that Dr. Paul is "upping" the dosage in the background.) Hockey Player is instructed by Dr. Paul that he should keep playing even if he's only partially effective. Shoulder does not heal but the drugs are good!
If Smirkin' Jack Layton was the physician he would take the same action as Dr. Paul with the exception that Dr. "Smirkin' Jack" would refuse treatment unless the hockey player paid a breathing tax, a "walking-in" tax, a tax that funds equality for gay hockey players in addition to the "Smirkin' Jack" Tax. Dr. "Smirkin' Jack would also require that the injured hockey player join the "National Union of Rejected Transgender Candidates, Students Upset Because They Have To Repay Their Loans, Drugged Up Injured Hockey Players and Those who think "Princess Monkey" has an Informed Opinion (Otherwise known as the "Blogging Dippers"). Shoulder does not heal, the drugs are good and the only entertainment the hockey player can afford is going out to the street corner where he listens to "Princess Monkey" extol the virtues of socialism.
If Jim Harris (Green Party leader) was the physician, he would explain that the players injury is making him less than effective that and de-population of less than effective people was the policy. Mark from Section 15 loads the syringe while his pet Zorpheaous digs an environmentally friendly grave. Injured hockey player is summarily de-populated.
If the physician were either of the "Conservative" MP's from Newfoundland, they would talk to the hockey player like they were Dr. Harper and try to hide the fact that they have a morphine-filled syringe behind their backs.
For the purpose of this post, the Canadian electorate east of SK will be referred to as "The Hockey Player." Now, the hockey player dislocates his shoulder and, in great pain, goes to the doctor. Lets look at what would happen if his doctor were some of our prominent politicians:
If Steven Harper was the physician he would tell the hockey player that it was going hurt a lot more for a few seconds as he re-set the shoulder but the pain would stop almost immediately afterwards. "POP"! It's done. Hockey player is given a prescription for Tylenol 3, a sling for his arm and instructions to go easy for a couple of weeks. Hockey player's private health plan covers the cost of the prescription. Shoulder heals and player is allowed to play again at full capacity.
If Paul Martin were the physician he would state that he was glad the hockey player didn't go to the conservative doctor because "he's scary with all of those modern techniques". Dr. Paul would do nothing about the injury itself although he would prescribe large doses of daily morphine. The Morphine Company just happens to be a good friend of Dr. Paul. The Morphine Company gives Dr. Paul lots of nice things. The cost of the morphine is picked up by the hockey player in the form of a "Dr. Paul Tax". When Dr. Harper (see above) is outraged at the treatment offered by Dr. Paul the hockey player in his drugged up state says: "Hey man, don't be so angry, this is great!" (Note that Dr. Paul is "upping" the dosage in the background.) Hockey Player is instructed by Dr. Paul that he should keep playing even if he's only partially effective. Shoulder does not heal but the drugs are good!
If Smirkin' Jack Layton was the physician he would take the same action as Dr. Paul with the exception that Dr. "Smirkin' Jack" would refuse treatment unless the hockey player paid a breathing tax, a "walking-in" tax, a tax that funds equality for gay hockey players in addition to the "Smirkin' Jack" Tax. Dr. "Smirkin' Jack would also require that the injured hockey player join the "National Union of Rejected Transgender Candidates, Students Upset Because They Have To Repay Their Loans, Drugged Up Injured Hockey Players and Those who think "Princess Monkey" has an Informed Opinion (Otherwise known as the "Blogging Dippers"). Shoulder does not heal, the drugs are good and the only entertainment the hockey player can afford is going out to the street corner where he listens to "Princess Monkey" extol the virtues of socialism.
If Jim Harris (Green Party leader) was the physician, he would explain that the players injury is making him less than effective that and de-population of less than effective people was the policy. Mark from Section 15 loads the syringe while his pet Zorpheaous digs an environmentally friendly grave. Injured hockey player is summarily de-populated.
If the physician were either of the "Conservative" MP's from Newfoundland, they would talk to the hockey player like they were Dr. Harper and try to hide the fact that they have a morphine-filled syringe behind their backs.
posted by Richard at 14:33
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