Mocking The MoonBat Position On Wal-Mart

I've had occasion within the past couple of months to stumble on posts/sites that were against Wal-Mart. The main site appears to be here.

Here's what I've gathered from their arguments so far:

How dare they require their employees to work when required by customer demand!

• Really, we need the company and the customers, to schedule around the workers. It's only fair.

How dare they purchase their goods from foreign countries!

• Wal-Mart's the only organization on the entire planet that buys foreign goods and it has to stop right now!

How dare they reject unions!

• Unions are the only way that workers are treated fairly and Wal-Mart needs to unionize now!

How dare they claim to be a patriotic organization and fly flags at their stores!

• Only good folks from the left are allowed to be patriotic. Death to the capitalist who don't agree!

How dare they make those greeters smile all day!

• Smiling is not allowed until Wal-Mart becomes an operational arm of the socialist state. When that happens, only union reps are allowed to smile.

How dare they pay "part time wages" for workers who work only part time!

• Workers who work part-time deserve full time pay.

How dare they make a profit!

• Profits should be illegal. Sure shareholders have all of the financial risk but that just doesn't matter damnit!

How dare they offer anything but 100% free healthcare for their employees!

• Having employees pay a portion of their healthcare insurance implies that they have some responsibility for their own lives. That is just wrong!

How dare they set up a profit-sharing plan and manage the investments themselves!

• Wal-Mart has no right to manage an investment program that they set up and contribute to themselves. The workers should be able to do as they please with their free money.

How dare they promote based on merit instead of the more appropriate "affirmative action" plans!

• Companies should not be able to promote and reward based on merit. How hard an individual works is not relevant. Color and gender are what really matter.

How dare they provide competition to smaller retailers!

• Competition is bad. Wal-Mart should NOT be allowed to make their competition work smarter and harder.

How dare they INDEED!

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to Wal-Mart to pick up a birthday present for my Wife and the mother of my children. Note to MoonBats: Though it may be hard for you to understand, "my wife and the mother of my children" are one and the same and no, "life-partner" does not properly describe her.